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Why OCD sucks for me/entrepreneur/anyone?

I welcome you all to the raw story of OCD which is / was part of me. This may or may not help you, but I just wanted to motivate other people who may relate their problems to mine which I have faced with great guts.

Well, the first thing I would love to tell is; I have kept the word “Entrepreneur” in the title because I am just relating to myself and it doesn’t mean that OCD doesn’t suck for anyone else other than entrepreneur.

Let us have some look at, what the fuck is OCD? You may just want to go and search over the web. OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. That’s sufficient as you will surely go ahead and look into more information about it.

How this suck(ed)s for me during entrepreneurship?

I have faced this whenever the customer spoke something which talked about me personally, even though others felt it as lighter note or just kidding types, I used to question them “What did they mean?” and they used to feel I am arrogant while I see it as my right to clarify till that person was my friend whom I understand (His / Her intentions). Well, I did not attend the meetings with other people just because they felt I would be straight-forward (Or arrogant Ha ha). People, I just spoke my thoughts or conveyed them; it is like “Aap kare to chamatkar, hum kare to balatkar”. I speak for myself and that irritates people, Awww! that hurts! However, nowadays I am more calmer and I speak what is required instead of wasting my time giving explanations when they think (I am arrogant is what they think and they think I am a psychotic or adamant or crazy or whatever crap! I see myself as a Genius). I seriously feel people need to understand “Art of speaking” big time.

To me, a customer is a human-being just like me and there is no one is like superior and inferior. We are doing business and let us do that, we aren’t doing any favour to each other. Period.

Now, a bit of history (Let me take you to my past)

If I go back to my high-school days or engineering days, I can remember that it started from there. I never knew that it was OCD for several years and I got to know recently (Few days back) that I may be suffering from OCD. How I got to know that? I reached the limit where I was so much pissed off with OCD activities, I just started doing some research over the web and found some of the symptoms that matched my behaviour.

Some of the symptoms that I can share which I faced in my life,

1. Reading the same page again and again just because I had some thought in my mind which used to say, I got to re-read it or else something bad may happen. Well, that helped me in revising so much (Grins) if I have to look at the optimistic part. However, the other side sucked to the core.

2. While walking on the road, I see a tree on left hand side to me which is like few meters far, and I have some number in my brain & I want to cross that tree with so many steps no matter what. If I fail to do that, then it haunts me for several days.

3. And when I am getting up from my bed, should I get up from left or right? Now, this is not superstitious thought, it is more to do with people whom I did not like. Example: If a person who fought with me lives somewhere on the right-hand side to me geographically, I would not like to get up from that angle. That was okay, till people from all the directions fought with me. In that case, I shouldn’t be getting up at all (Laughs).

These are few that I wanted to share. If we meet, I can share more details. Before you continue to read, I want to say that; I am sharing this because it may help someone who is suffering.

What have I learned from OCD as an entrepreneur?

Being an entrepreneur has motivated me to reduce the OCD because I cannot afford to keep giving OCD as an excuse, I am fighting the OCD demon very badly. It keeps coming back to me again and again, however I love to kick it back again and get back. This has got me some strength in how I make decisions or quickly I get over the disappointment in my entrepreneur journey. As kids, we have heard people saying “Everything happens for good”, I think no kid may understand it at that age; but when one grows up he / she may see things in optimistic way and convert the weakness (as the world sees it) into great strength while one overcomes OCD.

Admitting that I have OCD makes me feel lighter from inside and that helps me reduce my OCD level.

Can OCD be cured?

Well, the science says that it is a disorder and disorders can be controlled, but here I want to say; disorder or whatever fuck it is I have the faith that I can overcome it completely soon and I am working towards it. I bet!

To all the (wannabe) entrepreneurs, here is what I want to shout-out,

  • Fuck how others treat you, you bloody know yourself better than anyone. Just keep doing that.
  • It is very easy to fall down and very challenging to get up. I do not want to use word called “difficult” instead of challenging, because “difficult” word makes it look like non-challenging. If you love doing something, then there are challenges and nothing is difficult. Face them.
  • We see a lot of quotes on Facebook shared by our connections, well; those are temporary fixes for your problems. Stop believing in fairy tales and accept the raw life. Embrace the life, everything looks beautiful. Stay Calm, Stay Happy!
  • Open up, that will make you feel lighter however; watch out for critics that will come on your way. Come on people, critics are nothing in-front of your abilities, handle them peacefully and calmly. Have defensive mechanisms to cut the negativity and have bloody positivity filled around you.
  • Go for vacation, take a break, do what makes your endorphin levels go high. Period.

Closing Notes

If being an entrepreneur was a cake-walk, then it would be so easy to do by so many people on this planet. If you have been entrepreneur (Followed your heart) and you are facing different kinds of challenges (Be it personally or professionally; everything boils down to LIFE), you got to feel proud that you are a strong soul. That got to make you smile! Not that other people are not strong soul, everyone is a strong soul, if he / she lives his / her life the way he / she wants to without affecting other people. Way to go!

To people who want to know more about my experience being an entrepreneur and facing OCD challenges in my (personal / professional) life, talk to me. Here is my phone number: 9880952643 or else tweet to me @santhoshst. Let us talk. When we speak we feel lighter. However, I can share every bit of my life in detailed way based on my feeling if one wants to listen and not comment or debate on my life topic or judge me based on what I speak. If you agree to this agreement, then go ahead and get in touch with me. Lots of love to everyone!

 

I’m a ROCKSTAR and I know it.

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SanthoshTuppad

Software Tester, Product Innovator, Security Enthusiast at Test Insane Software Testing Services
I have been as a software tester for over 5 years. I am a hands-on tester and I've been winning bug battles & testing competitions across the world. I am a testing enthusiast, who conducts free workshops on security testing across India (Covered locations: Bengaluru, Pune, Hyderabad & Chennai. Invite him to come to your location), and monthly meets for testers in Bengaluru. I am also an avid testing blogger.

My interests include traveling, driving my SUV, health & fitness and many others. I mentor budding entrepreneurs, testers, teams in any profession.
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4 Comments

  1. Kiran Badi wrote:

    Hi Santhosh,

    Just saw your blog post and thought of making a comment.

    I do not think you have an OCD,you are not exhibiting any symptom of OCD. Though I can make it out from your writing that you are annoyed probably angry a lot with few folks or with yourself.

    Every person in this world has got some kind of obsessive behavior to some extent.This do not mean that you have OCD.

    Let me call you to your cell tonight and lets talk.I hope you dont mind talking to me.

    – Kiran Badi

    Thursday, August 21, 2014 at 5:37 am | Permalink
  2. Hi Kiran,
    Firstly, I was annoyed with your comment as it is insanely wrong or incorrect. Secondly, all your assumptions are totally wrong.
    Now, here is what I want to say; I know how great I am and how I live my life which is totally happy! I love myself a lot. After thinking on this (your comment), I am not at all interested in talking to you. And kindly do not call. I speak with people where I feel comfortable. That’s my nature and I love it to the core.

    Here is what I shared on Facebook last night,
    https://www.facebook.com/santhosh.tuppad/posts/837667362919698 That’s one of my answer to your comment! I paste it here again,

    >> I am not the first person to pick on you, there is unique way about how I receive things and if you do not like it, I am not forcing you to be with me. Take it or leave it. I do not give a damn. I mean it. You can take this as arrogance or you take this positively and understand things. It is up-to you! And again I do not care about it ;-) It takes a great heart and great thought process to understand a person like me. Oh yes, I love bragging about myself very well. And I love it so much, because I am speaking fact, and not faking.

    Sleep well, if you are not getting sleep; then think about this “Is it worth thinking about something crap and losing out my sleep?” Answers are always around the problems. You just got to have an eye for it. Period.

    Good night and see lots of dreams. No worries if you feel you cannot achieve that dream, at least you live that dream while you are sleeping. Live in the moment! Life is not given, it is a choice! << Like I said in my e-mail which I sent to you, I know that I have whatever I have and I know whatever I do not have. Kindly do not tell me about my life. I live in this body and I am matured enough for my life. I can discuss in general way with people, but when people touch my life; I hate it to the core and I become aggressive. Again my nature and I love it to the core. I know how to live my life and what I am! Go ahead and focus on your life. Live and Let Live is what I believe in! Period.

    Friday, August 22, 2014 at 1:01 am | Permalink
  3. Kiran Badi wrote:

    Please accept my apologies Santhosh for comments.

    – Kiran

    Friday, August 22, 2014 at 2:05 am | Permalink
  4. Alain wrote:

    You and your blog is new to me. I thought your post is funny and encouraging. I wonder if most of us human beings have OCD at different levels. I remember having similar behaviors as the ones you are describing when I was a child. With the time they have disappear even though some of them still remains making me act in “crazy and compulsive” ways. Have you ever wondered if this behavior you are calling OCD has actually helped in your entrepeneurship path more than you think? Facing “important” people can be a challenge for many, for what you are describing your OCD has helped you to treat all people in the same way (for good or bad) regardless of their history.

    Wednesday, December 9, 2015 at 5:44 am | Permalink

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